Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
