this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
