Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
