You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
