Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Someone came in the potted fern
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
