I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
