Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
