I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
