I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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