seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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