I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
