I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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