Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
