Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
