bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
