They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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