you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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