Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
