Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
