I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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