Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
