Cold hands, warm shart.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
kristin has been a bad kristin
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize