O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
