No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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