I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize