I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
