I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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