so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
