I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
