I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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