wake up i wanna do it froggy style
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
