What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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