this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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