wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
