Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize