We got so high we made milksteak
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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