at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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