i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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