the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
