I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
