i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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