at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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