We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
