I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
