with your own penis?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
