I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
