I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
