six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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