4 words: hood of his car
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
