Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
