I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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