Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
