sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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