i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
