proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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