so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
