my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize