id be glad to
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
