I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
